Because for parents, taking away their kids phones is the easiest way to get on their kids nerves. @cat None of what I mentioned is solely my opinion. Use those little incidental ways: when you're driving them, [going for a walk]," she said. When we punish kids by taking away their phone, we also invite retaliation. When your kids lose access to their phones, they will lose track of the learning materials and the system. Ask your teenager to stash their phone out of the bedroom at night (say, after 10 p.m. or 11 p.m. depending on your teenagers typical bedtime). "Sure you took away my phone, but now I am not going to get out of bed for school until you are screaming mad and late for work.". If they have a phone, they must take responsibility of using it appropriately. Unplugging from technology gives kids time to slow down and focus on what really matters: family, friends, and fun. Sit down with your child and lay out the rules and the consequences. You can rest assured that they also do the complaining to teachers and administrators on behalf of their children. "There were great learnings in there for her had she had access to her phone and actually, personally, learned that taking your top off for someone that you trust and love but who's also 13 might not be your best bet. Answer (1 of 34): When I was 16 years old, my parents took my phone away after they found out I was talking to a guy who they didn't approve of because of religious difference, for two years I had to make excuses why I don't have a phone, I was neither allowed to have one nor to say the reason wh. Psychologists believe that in order to stop this culture of entitlement, the overprotective instincts must be curbed. I will be convinced that phones are no more destructive than TV when I am convinced they can't be used by pedophiles to groom young children, by bullies to spread nasty and damaging hate and by young teenagers to send nudes. The point is, they will find a way or strategy to compensate for the absence of their phones. Ironically there's a cost for that because the cell phone companies, of course, want you to text message. Is apple cider vinegar better than white vinegar? But Dr. Marwick thinks the dangers to teenagers sharing and socializing online can be exaggerated; most teens are better at avoiding cyber mistakes than you might think. When the question Is taking away a phone a good punishment? crosses your mind, you better double-check if it matches your kids behavioral issues. Parents should take away their child's cell phone at night. You might be surprised at how much more effective these alternatives are. Should parents take away cell phones? Yes. Taking a teens phone away may not be a very effective form of punishment. Make the punishment fit the crime. You were the ones who gave them phonesin some cases, the parents let the kids choose the phones themselves. It is important they understand their missteps so they can learn from them. Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD. We also can read a lot about what you should do when you witness abuse online or believe you are a victim of a sextortion or a predator. Have a conversation with them. The answer to this question is somewhat complex and depends on a variety of factors. For parents seeking to punish or protect, snatching it away seems like the obvious move. They do not associate this as a mere my behavior was out of line, thats why my phone got taken away.Instead, they fixate on the idea that they no longer have a phone. And no wonder. Part of HuffPost Parenting. One of the basic rules of effective discipline is to make any punishment related to the misbehavior. But with a lot of my friends, if their phone is getting taken away that means its also getting searched. When asked how her friends respond to these searches, she said they feel as if their parents think theyre untrustworthy, and in turn, they dont trust their parents. The phone keeps the children connected to their friends, which is why taking it away will only make things worse. The fact that kids nowadays perceive phones as staples allows parents to threaten to take away their kids phonessomething they cant live without! The pair, who have recently co-authored a teen-raising guidebook calledThe New Teen Age, argue there are far more effective ways of getting a lesson into a crowded adolescent head. And many are getting smarter about how they present themselves on social media, using Facebook to positively brand themselves for college and keeping multiple Instagram accounts for personal use or portfolio work. @cat if you could please confine yourself to rebutting things I've actually said that would be helpful. He, of course, looked at me like I was crazy. Incidental communication such as this, she said, can be far more effective than trying to engage them in an uncomfortable, confrontational conversation about their behaviour. Clearly outline how a phone would benefit you, such as allowing them to easily get in touch with you, for safety and security reasons. Psychologists believe that in order to stop this culture of entitlement, the overprotective instincts must be curbed. However, forcing your child to unplug by taking away their phone likely wont encourage the healing break from technology that we all need. "So if they're going to tell you something really important, and you don't understand it, phones down, everybody go for a walk or go for a drive. Parents already have learned that taking technology is the most effective form of discipline, a new pew research center report finds that 65% of parents take away cell phones or Internet privileges as a punishment for their teens. Another alternative, apply the weekend-free phone to let them focus on real communication. In other words, don't take away the phone arbitrarily for an unrelated infraction, such as a missing curfew. Thus, before taking further action on the question Is taking away a phone a good punishment?, always figure out whether your kids school relies on a learning management system. And many of those things, when parents take them out of context, may seem problematicwhen theyre posting profanity, slang, selfiesbut when you actually see what the young person is doing, theyre experimenting with an identity, which is a very typical and healthy part of adolescent development., To adolescents the social network and contact with friends is the paramount developmental task and focus, says Beth Peters, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Westminster, Colorado, who specializes in teens and families. Tell them you think of taking away their phones, but let them defend and negotiate what works for both parties, and you can decide from there. If you need to punish your child, the best way to do it is to make the punishment relate to what they did wrong. At some point, this presents a good chance for your kids to expand their network and stay updated with the latest news around the world. Is taking away a phone negative punishment? We pay for it, and we're taking it away." The above words were mine, recently spoken to my 15-year-old son. complete answer The time to set parameters is before the infraction, says Dr. Larry Rosen, professor emeritus and past chair of the psychology department at California State University, Dominguez Hills and author of Rewired: Understanding the iGeneration and the Way They Learn. This means the absence of phones can make our lives quite harder. What I haven't read a lot about is what you can do if your teen abuses their internet or cell phone privileges. Its always better to communicate and negotiate earlier about the rules than give the kids phone-related punishment later. Some even experience a shortness or breath and heart palpitations when they imagine what might really happen if they took their teenager's phone away as a consequence for poor choices. They should learn that their voices are well considered so that they can gain decision-making skills firsthand. Sit down together to discuss proper use of the phone, inviting your teens perspective as well, and create a list of phone behaviors with rewards for good behaviors and punishments for bad ones. So, you might disable the social media or texting function if your teen needs to use the phone for homework. I'll still be your rock. In this case though, the world is actually only her approved followers because her account is set to private, and one of those followers is her mother, Kate. I do not believe in punitive measures to correct behaviour. The Importance of Friendship In Teenage Years. But she says they dont search the phone. Don't Try to Appeal to His Emotions with Speeches. First, if its a phone-related issue, you can limit their usage, such as by making no phone rules right before bedtime. With that statistic in mind, it makes sense that many parents would take away phone privileges as punishment. parents are responsible for paying for their phone, impact the trust between you and your child. Parents should take away their child's cell phone at night. Should parents take away phones as a punishment? There are more benefits than just this, however: giving your kids chores teaches them responsibility and shows them that you trust their ability to accomplish a task successfully. Experts explain teens Parents, this is why - as much as you want to - you shouldn't confiscate your teenager's phone. But I'm not going to cotton-wool you and protect you That does not make sense as it will confuse your kids more than obeying you. A Pew Research Center report finds that 65 percent of parents take away cell phones or Internet privileges as punishment. Teaching your kids discipline is one of the most important parts of being a parent. Such tools are particularly good for kids who find themselves too distracted or overwhelmed by social media when theyre doing homework or before bed. After all, taking away something that kids spend so much time on is sure to teach them discipline, right? Self-absorbed adult children tend to be overly focused on their struggles and tend to take their angst out on their parents. When the situation arises where you feel like you should take away your childs phone, consider these alternatives. Cathie Ericson is a freelance writer based in Portland, Oregon, and mom of three teen boys. Learn how to empower your kids with safe technology and prepare them for the future. "[The girl said] 'I don't tell my parents much now about what happens to me because I don't want my phone taken off me.'". However, the downsides of asking the kids to give up their phones to you outweigh the benefits. Emotionally immature parenting is seen in intergenerational trauma conditioned and maintained from one generation to the next. What other punishments are more effective? Belittle your child or try to make them feel bad. You will be surprised at how effective that approach is at winning cooperation and keeping your relationship healthy. Alternative methods may also help you to become a more authoritative parent and find a balance of respect with your children. In other words, dont arbitrarily take away the phone for an unrelated infraction, like missing curfew. Phones have become how teens communicate, and thats important for their development. But you cant contact your kids when you are parted. and sending it around, maybe you could have talked to him for a little bit longer and found out what kind of boy he is," she said. This means parents taking away the thing that kids feel attached to the most their phone as a form of punishment. And I'm a much better teacher than I was thirty years ago. Both parties may enjoy the actual connection for the time being. However, if the punishment has yet to happen, we highly recommend you find alternatives to discipline your kids. Open communication between parents and children is critical to reducing risky online behaviours. All of it is based on evidence - the human evidence I see every day, which is a reasonable cross section of teenage society. But what is really going through the mind of your teen, when you take away her phone? 85% percent of teens sleep with mobile devices by their side. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. And then ask the questions. Were proud to be recognized as a financially accountable and transparent organization. Puede intentar su bsqueda de nuevo o visitar la lista de temas populares. So, it depends not only on their age. What are Streaks, Emojis, and Filters? This is where healthy discipline strategies come in. If the phone has little to do with the crime, then taking away phones doesn't work. If the consequence is having their phone taken away, chances are they wont use it. But, a lot of parents just dont like their kids' constant texting and they love any excuse to take away the phone to reduce usage. The go-to disciplinary tool for parents of Gen Z teens is a simple one: "Hand in your phone." And no wonder. But all that virtual communication has a positive and developmentally important role. Alice Marwick, PhD, co-director of Fordham Universitys McGannon Center for Communication Research, and Danah Boyd, PhD, a principal researcher at Microsoft Research New England, have spent years studying youth social media usage. Threatening to take away your teen's phone may seem like a great way to get them to do something they're avoiding. According to studies, social media platforms exacerbate anxiety, depression, and even physical ailments. She even had one teenage client who was so reliant on their phone that they wanted to text them during a therapy session instead of speaking to her directly. To them its unjust. Here are a few ways that taking your childs phone away could be beneficial: These sound like some pretty good benefitsand they are! That is an extreme example, but an overreliance on social media can be damaging to a childs communication skills. This can help a child feel supported. Should parents take away phones as punishment? Alternatively, you can always refer to our list above. "Don't sit across the table and say, 'We really need to talk.' 1. In addition to grounding, taking away your child's phone for a specified period of time is a fairly common punishment. When you remove a teens lifeline to their friends, there will be a major emotional backlash, a breakdown of the parent-child relationship., When phones are taken away as punishment, Dr. Peters says, kids tend to withdraw from the parent. In this digital era, everyone has their mobile phones and treats them as one of their essential needs. But since it is their need, they will find ways to have it fulfilled, including lying to you. However, I don't agree that what they took away from you was necessary, nor the right thing to do. The downsides of this punishment outweigh the benefits. You can get your kids a phone when they are anywhere from 10 to 14 years old. I have no idea where your actual studies come from. Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, author of The Big Disconnect, worries that this is the first generation of teenagers who find it awkward to talk on the phone or have conversations in real time. Share with them how their actions made you feel. complete answer on strategiesforparents.com, View You dont have to take the whole phone away, notes Dr. Steiner-Adair. As a parent, you have decided that the most effective punishment for poor grades, bad behavior, a rotten attitude, lying, cheating, or whatever is to take away your child's cell phone. With that in mind, here are a few healthy, disciplinary alternatives that will help your child learn how to be self-disciplined and independent without making you the bad guy. Punishment hurts our relationship with them. But I do believe in using discipline to teach children that freedoms and responsibilities go hand in hand. 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The answer to this question should parents take away cell phones at night? is much more definitive, say the experts. Forms of punishment have definitely evolved and a common and easy way to regulate your childs behavior is taking away privileges when they dont toe the line. When parents consider the question, is taking away a phone a good punishment? they understand this punishment is the most frightening for the kids. For example, they can make excuses to go outside more frequently because they have difficulty contacting their friends. When they cross these lines, there will be consequences such as revoking their phone and internet privileges. Mobile phones are a major source of entertainment and distraction. How can they access the location features and contact you when they get lost if they dont have their phones with them? When we were younger, we had to visit a library to see which books had the information we needed. If your children are deterred from bad behaviour because of the threat of taking away electronics, you are reinforcing their need for electronic devices. Here are 10 tips for how to give consequences that workeven when kids say they don't care. By letting teenagers learn from their mistakes, helping them understand the consequences and solutions, parents can help them develop tools they'll need to become competent adults. They're the thing that connects them to their peers, but also to potentially negative influences like pornography, online bullying and predators. Doing so allows children to complete homework without distractions and sleep soundly without disruptions. Instead, they practice wise phone usage so the devices wont distract them from their priorities. While information about screen time for younger kids is more definitive and available anywhere, screen time for teens can be tricky. Work diligently to meet these expectations. Essentials Guide on Preventing Cyberbullying and Teen Social Media Reality, List of Teen Social Issues and How We Should Adress Them, Things Your Teenage Daughter Should Know about Dating and Relationships, Conflict Resolution Tips for Teens Dealing with Angry Moms. Its also appropriate to put limits on the amount of time your teen uses their phone. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. We all want a healthy and long-lasting relationship with our children. Ask the Expert: Should I Take Away My Teens Cell Phone at Night? Its not the same as barring them from using the telephone or grounding them so they cant meet their friends at the mall. Rather than take your childs phone away, try some positive methods of discipline. Stopping you from playing your PS4 for a week would have been a much more appropriate punishment in my opinion . Dr Mansberg said. In todays world, the phone often provides a primary source of access to both social support and necessary data for school and extracurricular activities, Dodgen-Magee says. As many of us know, this can be devastating to young people. on varsitytutors.com, View Two-way radios are great for quick communication. For the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), one of the best methods you can use is to just let things play out. I wrote a thesis on classroom set up and attainment and try as they might no one could find data to show that "smart" classrooms have any positive learning impacts. It removes the temptation to be online when they should be resting and the light from the phones is proven to disturb our deep restorative sleep patterns. The decline in gross motor skills and social ability coincides precisely with the introduction of the iPad. In cases where families have more than one child in this age range, these questions asked the parents focus on one of those children, either their oldest or youngest child in this age range (based on random assignment). Related to point no. As she points out, media cannot teach your child all the important aspects of face-to-face communication, like social cues or body language. They simply can't make good decisions in the way we hope we can talk them into and their ability to interact and speak with actual human beings face to face is rapidly decreasing as is their ability to write and read AND their gross motor skills. So basically never. For example, you might tell teens that if they fail to come to dinner because they are Snapchatting, they will lose the phone for an hour after dinner. Natural consequences make the best teachers, so it only makes sense to take it away for issues that involve the device or communication that happens on the device, says Doreen Dodgen-Magee, a psychologist from Lake Oswego, Oregon.
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