He isn't into sports although I have tried to encourage him to join them without success. My oldest is very much like this and hes only just turning 6! I also know how tender his heart is, and how much it pains him to be alone. My son was the same way growing up with an old soul he also lived in two homes 50% of the time with me and 50% of time with his dad. Hes just my sweet awkward lovable boy who is so lonely. Fact Checked Why does my Child Have No Friends? My son, who is 12, is exactly this article. The website is called friendometry.com One year a teacher had a lunch group with boys who had similar interests, where my son could shine I a low stress situation. He isn't the best athlete but i would like to think the school isn't that shallow that unless your on a sports team you get picked on. My daughter struggles the same way and I think they would get along! It will change his life. I was that kid. Quite often, this means they do not believe they are worthy of love. I really feel for you and him. They now meet up once a week to do various things. I dnt know if it will ever change , and I hate for her. He is also an only child which doesn't help either. Not even a sibling around. I shared this story with my 2 15 year old boy/girl twins and my 17 year old daughter. And I cry and pray for her. I called her and to my delight she told me why, he had made a couple friends after 4 months of school my boy made friends. When she was little, I organised regular playmates, and she had a few friends she was happy. Im so sorry. He won't talk about it, I think he pretends he isn't bothered, but I know he is. I was suspicious and looked at his photos on his iCloud and discovered he had been smoking grass and hanging out with an older bunch of kids. She would always complained about not having friends so we tried home school but that just made things worse. Mine is 12 about to be 13. He's given up football (which he did from age 6). Other posts on The Friendship Blog about teen friendships: Having a friendship quandary or dilemma? They have a gentleness and sense of humor beyond their years. He's a bright kid who doesn't get into trouble at school or home. What are his interestsmusical instrument, theatre groups, self defence etc. She also joined cadets so twice a week is busy and she eventually plucked up the courage to ask one of the girls there if they wanted to bowling one weekend - she had been given a voucher for Christmas so there was no awkwardness re paying etc (it was a good activity to choose as they had something to do!). I have the same 11 year old. Go chat with the teachers, school counsellors etc and voice your concerns. And its a chance to connect with other like-minded kids. My 14 year old son has just spent another school holiday without any friends. I cant begin to explain the devastation I feel for him. Im immensely proud of him and know just how wonderful his company is. Don't force your child to do something. He has no friends to come visit him or to hang out with. In our day, we had online communities and blogs andfor mean online diary-site where I found a great community of like-minded people. Or let your child invite a friend on family outings. I try to give her tips but nothing ever seems to work. He doesnt judge on looks as long your nice hes good. Socially Isolated Teens & Pre-Teens | Berkeley Parents Network My Son Has No Friends And It's Breaking My Mama Heart (Maybe 20 lbs overweight). And my heart still breaks. similar service in your country. I totally understand I have a 16-year-old daughter and she has suffer from depression, anxiety and is not social with anyone. My 14-Year-Old Son Has No Friends - Merge Family Hi@NywvmomTo2. If your son seems "fine" with his more limited network of friends, make sure you aren't transferring your own needs and/or insecurities onto him. I know times have changed but I look back to my social life at 18 and there really was no time to sleep. Also gum. You can just be yourself and not feel like you have to fit in. Hes intelligent and loves to read. He used to be full of joy. My 18 y/o ADHD teenager has no friends - CHADD's ADHD Pare I wish I lived in a bigger city where I had more options but I live in a small town and the other schools are not appealing to him that are local. Every time I picked him up from school, he was always spotted somewhere by himself alone. Is Your Child Struggling In School? Your words touched me, as I have lived everything you are going through. Just after 6 months, one of them moved. Continue to love your child and nurture his interests - it's the most important thing! There are many positives about being an introvert. My child had a similar situation. He researches pop culture, watches football games so he can have nuggets to offer in conversation. Friends can be classified into different categories such as acquaintances, virtual friends, close friends, and best friends. 18 Warning Signs Your Child May Have ADHD - Everyday Health I think this is a baptism of fire for us as much as our children I can honestly say nothing has taken me to such highs and lows as the hopes and expectations I have had in my son and watching/realising how cruel the world can be (adults can be just as cruel I have found) if you are even slightly different. I try to encourage him to go out and try to get to know other kids in our neighborhood, but he never wants to do it. He doesnt speak well like others his age, but he still tries and yet, no matter what, no one really accepts him or invites himhes still naive about it all tho I break every time his friends are showing pictures of birthdays and fun, with everyone, but my boy is always alone never invited and yet hes such a sweet hearted kid! It wasnt a fun journey; however, I believe my loneliness will help others like your son find a community who understand him & wants the best for him. He was invited to birthday parties and had a lot of play dates. My daughter is 24 with Selective Mutism- the inability to speak when nervous and she has a learning disability. I wish I could connect with a of you. My cell is 5034226447. So these jokes at his expense have caused him to decline into a shell. He has tried online sites and has dated a couple, but he is very mature for his age and it doesnt work out. I am desperate to find her just that 1 friend but havent had any luck. He will find his place. She is also an old soul with nothing in common with her peers. My son is 11 and an old soul. Thankfully, he does have two sisters. I know this is a personal question but does he have an autism spectrum disorder where social communication skills might be the cause. My daughter has quite a few friends and has a boyfriend for the last 3 yrs. I have multiple siblings, and I became used to sharing, compromising and fitting in to a group from a young age. My 14 year old son has no friends, and I'm worried. : r/Parenting - Reddit I was angry. Hes in Lacross, track, and skis. My 11 year old son has no friends anymore. Hed get along great with my boy.y son was much the same. But that day hasnt come yet, and in the meantime, my mama heart is breaking. My 14 year old son has no friends : Parenting - Reddit Thank you all so much. Could you share an email address where our children could write to him? I am 24 & I didnt find a sense of belonging till I was 21 by taking care of my nephew. and our I was this way in middle school and high school. I have friends in a local group here and they are some of the most welcoming and interesting people! I know hell eventually find at least one other quirky kid to hang with, or at least someone who isnt his mom. As aware as he is that hes not like them, theyre equally in tune. She knows Shes a little different and tries so hard to fit in. But his distaste for arrogance and false fronts means he has a hard time faking it, and tweens are quick to spot a poser. Also, check your local library for events. I don't want him to end up being alone. Teen boy's pals are mostly girls. Is that OK? - TODAY It was devastating to see him go from hopeful to crushed. My heart breaks reading all of the posts, but I can definitely relate. He is very clean and wears nice clothes and is a fairly decent student. He approaches groups of boys with his head already down, convinced they dont want to talk before he even opens his mouth. Reach out to your child's school and teachers to get more information about his daily life and to make them aware of the fact that your child is lonely and feels he has no friends. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. But, my son has no friends and it's breaking my heart. Its better now. We strive to share authentic parenting voices with you on a daily basis. He loved school. How To Help When Kids Feel Left Out & Say They Have No Friends My 14 year old daughter just got out of a hard core relationship with his boyfriend. Someone mentioned above about a school switch, is that an option? I have wondered sometimes if he is on the autism spectrum, whether is or isnt he is just amazingly, remarkably, wonderfully made!!! Good manners are always appreciated so support your son or daughter in learning what is expected in the outside world. I always wonder if shell be happier growing up with her childhood friends. For more information, please see our Ongoing bullying can have massive repercussions and the fallout for the future can be very damaging . I have 4 sons I know would love to hang out with him? We have tried everything from limiting his time on technology (which we still do) to trying to take him to a therapist. Shes such a great kid, i just want the best for her. Especially since we see so many kids are the same. My Son would totally Xbox friend youre Son. Again Im not sure if this fits for your son but it might be worth looking into. Any advice? Please consider sharing your info to contact your son. I found peace and rest. Specialty camps are a place that many kids thrive in (not YMCA camps or other daycare options). Too bad we cant get all of our children together to be friends..lol. We too have talked and practiced ways to start conversations with other kids. On top of that, since my son is a very forgiving person, he STILL tries to be friends with these kids. I got him involved in every activity possible but is not really athletic. My boy is 18 now and beginning to feel hopeless. Just some suggestions, for what theyre worth. And don't be hard on yourself - you sound very caring! He is also an old soul who struggles to find his people. And while he doesnt fit in, doesnt share all of their interests, he still shares that desire to belong. Lots of prayers for you guys. This must be devastating for you . Jackie January 18th, 2021 . To me you were you and i was me. But whenever the other one gets sick or not at school, he is alone again, like today. Its a great place to make friends, be silly, and know you are loved by cool, caring adult leaders. He has room for another friend. He had a friend who lived close who he used to hang out with regularly, but the kid and his family moved away about 3 years ago. So phone them for updates always . It made me think how I need to step up and make a change in my small community. He used to try and text people. I felt like I read my life story! But, my son has no friends and its breaking my heart. The academics arent always a good trade off (and sometimes theyre a waste of time). Also, don't make your 15-year-old son feel like a loser for having no friends. My mama heart breaks. How to Manage Teenage Relationships - Serious Adolescent Dating He has taught himself more than a dozen programming languages and got a big scholarship to college and couldn't be more excited to find kids like himself. My son sounds very similar (age 7). YoungLife.org Also, for middle schoolers, sometimes there is WyldLife also. Also find out exactly what your son has trouble with- initiating conversations? I feel he is immature for his age but I am aware that is common for ADHD kids. My daughter is in year 7. I just could not be around fake, vapid girls. I fear that because hes do socially stunted that he will remain that way. I am still waiting for him to make a real life friend. I suffered from the same thing so it REALLY breaks my heart because it killed me as a child/teenager so I know to some degree how he feels. And good luck to your Mama Heart, too! Theyre at the same developmental stage as he is physically awkward, hormonally overwhelmed, and not the greatest and taking stands on behalf of the little guy. He says he is not lonely but deep down i know he is. My boy is 20 and in college now. After HS she started college and she is doing well, with several friends, without sacrificing who she is or what she believes. It take a village those mom should know better and teach there kids to reach out to the lonely kids!! Theyre homeschooled so they dont really have like 30 kids in a class. ?? I was your son, as it were. Too bad we couldnt get them together. The thought that my child has no friends at school can make almost all the parents worried. Prosecutors in Chicago dismissed murder charges brought against a 35-year-old mother and her 14-year-old son in the shooting death at a hot dog stand after "emerging evidence" came to light . He sits with the other lonely kid, the one with no one else around, but theyre both so shy or awkward that the conversation fizzles and they sit in awkward silence. It would also be best if he was not aware of why you are encouraging him to be more social and get more involved in activities. But life gets better, and people who are different are the ones who make something of themselves, and are often the most interesting. My second son, my middle child, is so very special. Other families we know have their children in amazing private schools or public alternative schools. Trying to find him a friend is good, but dont make him feel like something is wrong with him. Is he shy around others, feels awkward or overwhelmed? Maybe they will grow into stronger friendships. My son plays on Xbox alone bc he has no friends. Single Mom Whose 14-Year-Old Son Shot & Killed A Stranger Who Punched I cried the whole time I was reading it with the total identification. I give him pointers, tips, conversation starters he can try when hes around other kids. Any beginner is expected to ask other members questions, and people are generally keen to help (the arrogant dicks are easy to spot/avoid, and the loners will wear headphones). But yesstill heart wrenching as a mom of an extraordinary kid who cant connect but maybe thats ok maybe their extraordinary qualities would be changed or altered by too much teen-contact I stand in belief there is a reason and purpose larger than I knowand his adulthood is going to be freaking amazing because he will know how to persevere and overcome. The sad truth is school has become so intense and all -consuming that there is little time to prioritize friendships. Archived post. I would love to say that changed as I got older, but that would be a lie. Gym can be intimidating, but its one of the friendlier and most forgiving environments you can imagine (regular visitor > smiles/nods > conversation > friendship). He barely goes outside. Parents can fill out an anonymous profile for their child and then look for other fiends with similar strengthens in their residential area. She hides in the library during break time, as she told me she feels awkward eating alone. Reason 1: Feeling Preoccupied Preoccupied children develop due to inconsistent parenting from emotionally unpredictable parents. Please please help I'm at my wits end!! A child who has just moved to a new school district may simply need time in order to establish a social base. We homeschool our kids and it has been wonderful. Also bear in mind that some teens, by virtue of personality, tend to be more comfortable being alone than with others. What can I do to help him? The longer he goes without friends, the more insecure he becomes. What are the consequences for children who bully and how do you protect children from ongoing bullying if it does not stop ? She is utterly devastated. I have life-long friendships that came from the virtual world where most of my real-life friendships seem to ebb and tide. They are not so easily molded into society. Anything that he enjoys doing . Try that! Hes an old soul in the body of a boy who doesnt fit. Tricia Christensen Last Modified Date: June 02, 2023 There are many reasons why a child at school may lack friends. I tell them that people LOVE talking about themselves and feel good when others show interest in them as individuals. It's hard for me to believe that. Of a hard time.they are also pretty emotional in comparison to most kids I know. Stay in touch. You give yourself a break, you realize you dont have to have a ton of friends, its ok to have quirky interests it takes the pressure off. We are not a counselling or crisis service and we can't guarantee you'll get a reply, so if you need to talk now, The current time is Thu, 4:21 AM(Australian Eastern time). He is now 18 and has found his niche he works in a nursing home and absolutely loves it. Perhaps, with monitoring and candid conversations about web-safety, parental controls privacy expectations (for safetys sake) you could find a site he could be a part of. Spend quality time with your son, no matter how busy you are. 6 Ways to Help Your Teen Make and Keep Great Friends I promise it will get better for him! They will only give it enough energy and imperative if you drive the bus and you are his strongest advocate . He says hes fine and I know, in my heart, that he isnt. The only way he sees to make connections is through dating and a future career so thats his focus for now. All rights reserved. They have many interesting subjects that a sweet intellect like himself would most likely enjoy. Hes a substitute teacher and is comfortable (and safe) with kids, but hes SO intelligent and different and fascinatingone of my favorite people simply because hes authentic. I was reluctant and nervous, but my son was all for it and although Im not sure he found his people at the new school, it was a positive experience for him. He was very close to Grandad. My storymy son. We tried for 6 months to find a friend who would go ride go-carts with him to celebrate turning the big 10, and finally just had to make it a family day. Hes a really great kid and an excellent friend, so I just dont fully understand why they are being cruel to him. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. She has done online school due to .
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